Partners Who Have Differing Political Views

My girlfriend (Rene) is a liberal working in the public sector. I suppose am best described as a libertarian, though one could argue I lean to the right. Weirdly enough, I work for a private company that sells almost exclusively to the public sector. Our work industries touch, but don't overlap.

I voted for Trump and for that alone many people will try and pigeonhole me as a backwards-thinking redneck. And that's fine, it's an easy tell of people who actually  are small-minded.

I have a very close friend who is vehemently against abortion. I live with a woman who has donated to Planned Parenthood. In more situations than not, I bridge the gap between the two polar extremes of this very hostile political climate. I refuse to play for the red or blue team. In my opinion, almost all politicians are nothing but corrupt and power hungry puppets.

You'd think that taking a more neutral stance would help me preserve my relationships. But it hasn't always worked out.

I lost a friend of 20 years during the 2020 George Floyd Protests because I wouldn't commit to the idea that defunding the police immediately was a top priority. Two years and that boil has reduced to a light simmer and we haven't said a word to each other since. I think about reaching out sometimes but after the way he did me, I'm not sure I could ever trust him again.

Coexisting

Despite all of this, Rene and I have found a way to coexist peacefully. She has similar experience – she had dated someone in the past, they had a conflict surrounding a political topics, relationship ended. This past negative experience causes her to tense up any time a political issue is brought up in conversation.

We've had uncomfortable conversations about gun control, abortion, COVID vaccines, censorship/deplatforming. These conversations often take the form of me playing devil's advocate and testing her argument and convictions.

I've learned that people get really uncomfortable when asked to defend how they feel about something. I don't take things as seriously as she does, so while it's a lot of fun for me, too much of it and she'll start to shut down. Then I feel like an asshole for letting my curiosity make someone feel uncomfortable.

Maybe neither one of us will ever convince the other to change their mind. I like to admit that I could be wrong. I like being demonstrably wrong. I like having reason to change my mind.

The Next Generation

We have four children in our house. The oldest will be 16 soon and is has self-described themself as "very far left". W, our 12-year-old, has all of the traditional conservative interests (geography, guns, the military/war history) and has expressed his frustrations about all of the attention to LGBT/pride stuff (paraphrased: "I'm fine with gay people but why does everything have to be about it?")

I could never be so attached to a political issue that I'd let it cause a rift between me and the kids.

2024

When asked "what is your biggest fear about our future?", Rene responded "getting through the 2024 election?". My jaw was on the floor. I couldn't believe that of all the things that could be a problem, politics was number one?! My ex-wife was almost entirely apolitical, didn't vote. Being with a partner who has emotional investment in politics is a lot different. Doubly so with Rene's past relationship demise.

Beyond

I see both sides pushing for change and not getting anywhere. The left wants more government, more regulation, more laws against "disinformation" (while claiming that doing so isn't "censorship"). I couldn't give a shit less about politics right now.

I'm making good money, my family is healthy, we have everything we need. I understand that many others can't say the same, and like everything else I have a very different opinion about the solution. But fighting about which solution is best doesn't matter when it's not going to happen anyway.

I'm just doing my best to remain grateful to even be alive and have what I have.